Asu girl with the red hair...me...
Today...oh today was a combination of good, bad, worse and better all together. I woke up to Samantha outide my window screaming my name, at nine in the morning. Then Adam wasn't home till eleven. In between then all I heard was complaining. Along with that complaining on a beautiful day. Okay so it was dark, and raining but that's my favorite kind of weather. Adam got home, he did some stuff, then left. He came home with a Nissan 350z, and couldn't be happier. Happy for him, he needed a change of events. Then Dom and I had an issue with someone texting from my phone, which is old. Grow up people. Then I went to Laveen, saw my charbo, showed off the car, and came home. That's when I sat down and was like...twilight zone...I suddenly was like flipping out about my relationship. My brain created an issue that was never there and I felt the need to talk about it. Stupid thought. We just argued till he said "what's gotten into you" that's when I reevaluated my situation. I woke up, I turned my lights out, I shut my blinds and doors and laid on my bed and smoked a bowl. I then apologized to Dom for being stupid an unbalanced. He forgave me...again. I swear this is the last time I'm going to put myself or Dom through this doubt of mine. He's not my exs, he's not my enemy, he's my boyfriend. My boyfriend who cares about me, helps me, and is just so much more. There's no reason to doubt him, or question anything about him or I or our relationship. We're just fine. So it was my total stupidity for thinking otherwise. If something is wrong...Dom will be the first to tell me. Then Thing One came home hella late. He text me for hours, invited me out, yelled at me, and now were saying our sorrys. He's annoying. By far, egotistical...roar! Anyways, here I lay waiting on my mom to call, but it hasn't stopped raining yet. -.- ugh. Laci.
350z baby
Yah
Random text... Fuckers
Some people, and things never fail to amaze me. Like Samantha and Dom, or the weather, or everything. Samantha is always on a mood swing it seems like. She never is in the same mood twice, and I'm hoping it's the pregnantcy but who knows anymore. She did cook dinner though. Dom because I day were fighting, the next day were sending cute text messages. Were the perfect combination of hot and cold. How I miss my boyfriend. Austin came over this morning and brought me coffee, like te hero he is. I curled my hair today, I did yoga, and I dealt with thing one again. In three hours I'll be dealing with him again. Awesome. Otherwise I've chilled out in my room smoking some bowls and watching my newest obsession "Pretty Little Liars." So things have been calm. Hmmm, another bowl, some water, and sleep. Much needed three hour nap before thing one comes home and wakes me up and keeps me up all night. Till later. Laci
Austin!!
Coffee!!
Dom makes me smile. All the time.
I don't know where to start right now...but today sucked, except for lunch, yeah lunch was pretty good.
I got up this morning, did my normal, meaning make coffee and go outside to smoke. When I came back in Austin said he wanted to go to the store so he could make lunch. So we go to the store, spend 40 dollars on the stuff to make lunch, and come back home. He cooks and it was one of the most amazing things I've ever tasted. The dude's got mad skill in the kitchen, so much that I will be attending dinners at his place, no seriously.
Then, my day just went from good to bad, from bad to worse...and it like less than 20 seconds. I blinked and things were all sorts of messed up.
Sam's boyfriend came over and we were all sitting outside talking and smoking and just relaxing honestly. No one was talking crap about anyone, no one was being sarcastic or cruel, but out of the blue I start getting text from Adam. He was asking me if we were still good and if were still friends. Well, okay, that's abnormal...of course we're friends, so what in God's name are you talking about?! I guess he thinks, or thought that he overheard something that someone said. No one said anything honestly just relax brother, stop tripping and kick it.
Is that how it played out? Absolutely not. It can never be that easy for me, now can it?
I come upstairs and I'm just drained and I don't want to deal with anything at all, just no. So I grab my purse and my phone and leave. Well I guess something happen up here because my other roommate Austin comes down and finds me and tells me that Adam is upstairs blowing up on Sam and things are just all sorts of unbelievably bad. Well I can't handle it and I don't think Austin wanted to go back upstairs yet, so we walked around for awhile and just talked as I poured my heart out to him about how I feel. We then decided that it was probably a good idea if we went back upstairs because we weren't sure that Adam and Sam were still alive or if they had killed one another.
We get back inside and all seems fine...they were hugging. Great, that's just dandy and everything, but when I had left earlier I had already made a phone call to my sister asking her to come get me. At that exact moment in time I was totally done, I was going to wash my hands of everyone and everything. So I go straight to Austin's room and start gathering my things ad packing them up. I was determined that I was leaving. As I am packing my things I realize I still have the phone that Adam pays for and he bought it, so the right thing to do if I'm going to leave is return it. I go in his room and give him his phone and tell him that I'm leaving. He wanted to talk and I simply said "No, there's no talking, I'm leaving." Did that go as I planned? No, again.
We start talking and Sam pops her head in as I figured she would, and at the point I was boiling. I then broke down. I cried, I choked, I got pissed and quick. I let them both know that they were acting like children, and I couldn't take it anymore. It's heartbreaking to me that these people who were all surrounding me when I was told that I am indeed battling cancer are hounding me and stressing me out consistently and I just want a break. I want silence, I want one moment in my life that doesn't feel like hell or Earth. I also let them know that I just couldn't take the drama, stress, childish acts, foolishness, tip toeing around everyone's feelings, and being shoved around anymore. I had to speak my mind or the planet would have imploded.
In the end I guess you can say the drama died out and everyone supposedly worked out their bull shit. Like I said supposedly. Do I expect someone to start something in a few days...yes. How well will I tolerate it? I won't.
Sam left. Austin went to the hookah bar, and Adam went to work. I am sitting at home tonight in silence...peace...a stress free environment. I mean Austin is home now and sleeping, but I just want to savory the silence. I enjoy it right now.
On top of this all...my boyfriend, my very protective boyfriend finds out there was fight here in the apartment...somehow...I swear he's like a super secret spy. I guess he's been trying to get a hold of me most of the night. Well I just left him a voice mail and text him saying I'm alive...hopefully he gets it and it calms his nerves, otherwise I half expect him to break my door down. That man, yeah I still adore him.
Dom just makes me smile...I miss him...blah.
Now it's bedtime before I start over thinking about my boyfriend whom I miss and want to be cuddled up with right now while watching Netflix in his amazingly comfortable bed and pitch black room.
^GREAT! I'm already doing it.
Goodnight.
Laci
 My roommate Austin made us all lunch and it was so worth it! Fantastic cooking skills!
Today was filled with stress, pain, drama, the normal as it stands right now. I woke up on the couch because my roommate and I were dying in the heat and just couldn't get comfortable so we took turns migrating between the bed and the couch. He finally fell asleep in his bed and I fell asleep on the couch, I woke up to being covered up and forgetting how I even landed on the couch. I was a hot mess this morning.
I then just get up and say fuck it because once I'm up, I'm up, that's all she wrote. I started my music which woke up Austin who then wanted coffee, and I had no problem with that, as I am the official caffeine whore.
Then Adam got up or appeared, which ever, and we all hung out in the kitchen/ living room area and just talked as they smoked hookah. I made myself breakfast and then went out to my normal spot...the balcony.
Then Samantha came home and we did some running. As the day moved forward though I continued to battle with some horrible back pain and finally broke down and made a trip to the ER.
I haven't mentioned it, blogged about it, or really even talked about it, but I shall...now.
1...2...3...jump.
A few days ago I got some of the most heart shattering news about myself. I have a lovely history of back pain, but not a muscle pain or anything. It was always my spine that hurt, or my bones in general. Well I let my doctors run some more extensive test come to find out that I am battling slow progressing bone cancer. It explains a lot, and it feels good to have an answer finally, but bone cancer isn't curable it's just treatable and it's painful and will cost me an arm and leg. I still to this very moment don't know if I'm doing treatments or if I will continue my life the way it is. All I know is that I can't live my life in pain. I'm to active for this.
Right now to treat it, I'm using numbing patches that the ER gave me and a narcotic. How I'm going to continue to treat it? I haven't figured that out yet.
But since we're talking about all this medical stuff and what not...my parents made some choices that I can't say I was happy with. They put my boyfriend as my emergency contact and made it so that he can get my medical records, and also that he gets called if something happens with me. Alright, now...I mean I love Dom to pieces, I trust him with everything I have, but he's 22 and we've been together...what...like five months. He's not responsible for me or my health. Why are we putting him in this situation? My parents answer..."Well he lives here in the state, and he seems to care about your medical well being, and he always knows where you are and what your doing." Now granted my parents have a valid reason and everything...I still don't see this as being okay.
Actually I feel like I got diagnosed with cancer and all of a sudden people are taking an interest in me and suddenly care about me and my health. Are you serious? Where were you all before this? That's right...too busy with yourselves. Now baby sister got sick and you all text and call and want to hang out...it doesn't work like that. Now my family is putting things in place in case something happens with me? Woah bro, I am 22, I just found out, and you're all tripping thinking I'm going to die the next day.
Ugh, whatever.
Other than that, today's been a fairly decent day.
Time to go medicate and kick it for the rest of the night.
Laci <3
 "You little SUNDEVIL you!!"  Text book. Music. Candy. BOOM.  Math. Hate on me.
 Smile  Ohheyhi  Me oh my red hair  Baby it's cold outside.
As I mentioned I live in Phx Az, really it's Paradise Valley. I live with three other roommates and a dog. I live with Adam, Austin, and Samantha and miss mercy the puppy.
Samantha and I have known each other since we were in seventh grade. We went to all the same schools. We've been through hell and back.
I just met Adam two months ago, but the man is one of my best friends. He's 25 and has a good head on his shoulders. We talk all day and night and have a good time no matter the situation.
Austin is also 25 and has the same story as Adam. Only Austin is a nerd who can make me laugh anytime of the day.
Now I give great little tidbits of information about them, but don't get it twisted...there's always a full buffet of drama here. More than there should be.
Living here's great, but sometimes I just want to shut the world off and sit in a dark silent room.
Life's never dull here.
<3
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