I don't know where to start right now...but today sucked, except for lunch, yeah lunch was pretty good.
I got up this morning, did my normal, meaning make coffee and go outside to smoke. When I came back in Austin said he wanted to go to the store so he could make lunch. So we go to the store, spend 40 dollars on the stuff to make lunch, and come back home. He cooks and it was one of the most amazing things I've ever tasted. The dude's got mad skill in the kitchen, so much that I will be attending dinners at his place, no seriously.
Then, my day just went from good to bad, from bad to worse...and it like less than 20 seconds. I blinked and things were all sorts of messed up.
Sam's boyfriend came over and we were all sitting outside talking and smoking and just relaxing honestly. No one was talking crap about anyone, no one was being sarcastic or cruel, but out of the blue I start getting text from Adam. He was asking me if we were still good and if were still friends. Well, okay, that's abnormal...of course we're friends, so what in God's name are you talking about?! I guess he thinks, or thought that he overheard something that someone said. No one said anything honestly just relax brother, stop tripping and kick it.
Is that how it played out? Absolutely not. It can never be that easy for me, now can it?
I come upstairs and I'm just drained and I don't want to deal with anything at all, just no. So I grab my purse and my phone and leave. Well I guess something happen up here because my other roommate Austin comes down and finds me and tells me that Adam is upstairs blowing up on Sam and things are just all sorts of unbelievably bad. Well I can't handle it and I don't think Austin wanted to go back upstairs yet, so we walked around for awhile and just talked as I poured my heart out to him about how I feel. We then decided that it was probably a good idea if we went back upstairs because we weren't sure that Adam and Sam were still alive or if they had killed one another.
We get back inside and all seems fine...they were hugging. Great, that's just dandy and everything, but when I had left earlier I had already made a phone call to my sister asking her to come get me. At that exact moment in time I was totally done, I was going to wash my hands of everyone and everything. So I go straight to Austin's room and start gathering my things ad packing them up. I was determined that I was leaving. As I am packing my things I realize I still have the phone that Adam pays for and he bought it, so the right thing to do if I'm going to leave is return it. I go in his room and give him his phone and tell him that I'm leaving. He wanted to talk and I simply said "No, there's no talking, I'm leaving." Did that go as I planned? No, again.
We start talking and Sam pops her head in as I figured she would, and at the point I was boiling. I then broke down. I cried, I choked, I got pissed and quick. I let them both know that they were acting like children, and I couldn't take it anymore. It's heartbreaking to me that these people who were all surrounding me when I was told that I am indeed battling cancer are hounding me and stressing me out consistently and I just want a break. I want silence, I want one moment in my life that doesn't feel like hell or Earth. I also let them know that I just couldn't take the drama, stress, childish acts, foolishness, tip toeing around everyone's feelings, and being shoved around anymore. I had to speak my mind or the planet would have imploded.
In the end I guess you can say the drama died out and everyone supposedly worked out their bull shit. Like I said supposedly. Do I expect someone to start something in a few days...yes. How well will I tolerate it? I won't.
Sam left. Austin went to the hookah bar, and Adam went to work. I am sitting at home tonight in silence...peace...a stress free environment. I mean Austin is home now and sleeping, but I just want to savory the silence. I enjoy it right now.
On top of this all...my boyfriend, my very protective boyfriend finds out there was fight here in the apartment...somehow...I swear he's like a super secret spy. I guess he's been trying to get a hold of me most of the night. Well I just left him a voice mail and text him saying I'm alive...hopefully he gets it and it calms his nerves, otherwise I half expect him to break my door down. That man, yeah I still adore him.
Dom just makes me smile...I miss him...blah.
Now it's bedtime before I start over thinking about my boyfriend whom I miss and want to be cuddled up with right now while watching Netflix in his amazingly comfortable bed and pitch black room.
^GREAT! I'm already doing it.
Goodnight.
Laci
I got up this morning, did my normal, meaning make coffee and go outside to smoke. When I came back in Austin said he wanted to go to the store so he could make lunch. So we go to the store, spend 40 dollars on the stuff to make lunch, and come back home. He cooks and it was one of the most amazing things I've ever tasted. The dude's got mad skill in the kitchen, so much that I will be attending dinners at his place, no seriously.
Then, my day just went from good to bad, from bad to worse...and it like less than 20 seconds. I blinked and things were all sorts of messed up.
Sam's boyfriend came over and we were all sitting outside talking and smoking and just relaxing honestly. No one was talking crap about anyone, no one was being sarcastic or cruel, but out of the blue I start getting text from Adam. He was asking me if we were still good and if were still friends. Well, okay, that's abnormal...of course we're friends, so what in God's name are you talking about?! I guess he thinks, or thought that he overheard something that someone said. No one said anything honestly just relax brother, stop tripping and kick it.
Is that how it played out? Absolutely not. It can never be that easy for me, now can it?
I come upstairs and I'm just drained and I don't want to deal with anything at all, just no. So I grab my purse and my phone and leave. Well I guess something happen up here because my other roommate Austin comes down and finds me and tells me that Adam is upstairs blowing up on Sam and things are just all sorts of unbelievably bad. Well I can't handle it and I don't think Austin wanted to go back upstairs yet, so we walked around for awhile and just talked as I poured my heart out to him about how I feel. We then decided that it was probably a good idea if we went back upstairs because we weren't sure that Adam and Sam were still alive or if they had killed one another.
We get back inside and all seems fine...they were hugging. Great, that's just dandy and everything, but when I had left earlier I had already made a phone call to my sister asking her to come get me. At that exact moment in time I was totally done, I was going to wash my hands of everyone and everything. So I go straight to Austin's room and start gathering my things ad packing them up. I was determined that I was leaving. As I am packing my things I realize I still have the phone that Adam pays for and he bought it, so the right thing to do if I'm going to leave is return it. I go in his room and give him his phone and tell him that I'm leaving. He wanted to talk and I simply said "No, there's no talking, I'm leaving." Did that go as I planned? No, again.
We start talking and Sam pops her head in as I figured she would, and at the point I was boiling. I then broke down. I cried, I choked, I got pissed and quick. I let them both know that they were acting like children, and I couldn't take it anymore. It's heartbreaking to me that these people who were all surrounding me when I was told that I am indeed battling cancer are hounding me and stressing me out consistently and I just want a break. I want silence, I want one moment in my life that doesn't feel like hell or Earth. I also let them know that I just couldn't take the drama, stress, childish acts, foolishness, tip toeing around everyone's feelings, and being shoved around anymore. I had to speak my mind or the planet would have imploded.
In the end I guess you can say the drama died out and everyone supposedly worked out their bull shit. Like I said supposedly. Do I expect someone to start something in a few days...yes. How well will I tolerate it? I won't.
Sam left. Austin went to the hookah bar, and Adam went to work. I am sitting at home tonight in silence...peace...a stress free environment. I mean Austin is home now and sleeping, but I just want to savory the silence. I enjoy it right now.
On top of this all...my boyfriend, my very protective boyfriend finds out there was fight here in the apartment...somehow...I swear he's like a super secret spy. I guess he's been trying to get a hold of me most of the night. Well I just left him a voice mail and text him saying I'm alive...hopefully he gets it and it calms his nerves, otherwise I half expect him to break my door down. That man, yeah I still adore him.
Dom just makes me smile...I miss him...blah.
Now it's bedtime before I start over thinking about my boyfriend whom I miss and want to be cuddled up with right now while watching Netflix in his amazingly comfortable bed and pitch black room.
^GREAT! I'm already doing it.
Goodnight.
Laci
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