Today was filled with stress, pain, drama, the normal as it stands right now. I woke up on the couch because my roommate and I were dying in the heat and just couldn't get comfortable so we took turns migrating between the bed and the couch. He finally fell asleep in his bed and I fell asleep on the couch, I woke up to being covered up and forgetting how I even landed on the couch. I was a hot mess this morning.
I then just get up and say fuck it because once I'm up, I'm up, that's all she wrote. I started my music which woke up Austin who then wanted coffee, and I had no problem with that, as I am the official caffeine whore.
Then Adam got up or appeared, which ever, and we all hung out in the kitchen/ living room area and just talked as they smoked hookah. I made myself breakfast and then went out to my normal spot...the balcony.
Then Samantha came home and we did some running. As the day moved forward though I continued to battle with some horrible back pain and finally broke down and made a trip to the ER.
I haven't mentioned it, blogged about it, or really even talked about it, but I shall...now.
1...2...3...jump.
A few days ago I got some of the most heart shattering news about myself. I have a lovely history of back pain, but not a muscle pain or anything. It was always my spine that hurt, or my bones in general. Well I let my doctors run some more extensive test come to find out that I am battling slow progressing bone cancer. It explains a lot, and it feels good to have an answer finally, but bone cancer isn't curable it's just treatable and it's painful and will cost me an arm and leg. I still to this very moment don't know if I'm doing treatments or if I will continue my life the way it is. All I know is that I can't live my life in pain. I'm to active for this.
Right now to treat it, I'm using numbing patches that the ER gave me and a narcotic. How I'm going to continue to treat it? I haven't figured that out yet.
But since we're talking about all this medical stuff and what not...my parents made some choices that I can't say I was happy with. They put my boyfriend as my emergency contact and made it so that he can get my medical records, and also that he gets called if something happens with me. Alright, now...I mean I love Dom to pieces, I trust him with everything I have, but he's 22 and we've been together...what...like five months. He's not responsible for me or my health. Why are we putting him in this situation? My parents answer..."Well he lives here in the state, and he seems to care about your medical well being, and he always knows where you are and what your doing." Now granted my parents have a valid reason and everything...I still don't see this as being okay.
Actually I feel like I got diagnosed with cancer and all of a sudden people are taking an interest in me and suddenly care about me and my health. Are you serious? Where were you all before this? That's right...too busy with yourselves. Now baby sister got sick and you all text and call and want to hang out...it doesn't work like that. Now my family is putting things in place in case something happens with me? Woah bro, I am 22, I just found out, and you're all tripping thinking I'm going to die the next day.
Ugh, whatever.
Other than that, today's been a fairly decent day.
Time to go medicate and kick it for the rest of the night.
Laci <3
I then just get up and say fuck it because once I'm up, I'm up, that's all she wrote. I started my music which woke up Austin who then wanted coffee, and I had no problem with that, as I am the official caffeine whore.
Then Adam got up or appeared, which ever, and we all hung out in the kitchen/ living room area and just talked as they smoked hookah. I made myself breakfast and then went out to my normal spot...the balcony.
Then Samantha came home and we did some running. As the day moved forward though I continued to battle with some horrible back pain and finally broke down and made a trip to the ER.
I haven't mentioned it, blogged about it, or really even talked about it, but I shall...now.
1...2...3...jump.
A few days ago I got some of the most heart shattering news about myself. I have a lovely history of back pain, but not a muscle pain or anything. It was always my spine that hurt, or my bones in general. Well I let my doctors run some more extensive test come to find out that I am battling slow progressing bone cancer. It explains a lot, and it feels good to have an answer finally, but bone cancer isn't curable it's just treatable and it's painful and will cost me an arm and leg. I still to this very moment don't know if I'm doing treatments or if I will continue my life the way it is. All I know is that I can't live my life in pain. I'm to active for this.
Right now to treat it, I'm using numbing patches that the ER gave me and a narcotic. How I'm going to continue to treat it? I haven't figured that out yet.
But since we're talking about all this medical stuff and what not...my parents made some choices that I can't say I was happy with. They put my boyfriend as my emergency contact and made it so that he can get my medical records, and also that he gets called if something happens with me. Alright, now...I mean I love Dom to pieces, I trust him with everything I have, but he's 22 and we've been together...what...like five months. He's not responsible for me or my health. Why are we putting him in this situation? My parents answer..."Well he lives here in the state, and he seems to care about your medical well being, and he always knows where you are and what your doing." Now granted my parents have a valid reason and everything...I still don't see this as being okay.
Actually I feel like I got diagnosed with cancer and all of a sudden people are taking an interest in me and suddenly care about me and my health. Are you serious? Where were you all before this? That's right...too busy with yourselves. Now baby sister got sick and you all text and call and want to hang out...it doesn't work like that. Now my family is putting things in place in case something happens with me? Woah bro, I am 22, I just found out, and you're all tripping thinking I'm going to die the next day.
Ugh, whatever.
Other than that, today's been a fairly decent day.
Time to go medicate and kick it for the rest of the night.
Laci <3
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